Schwester
by skylarkz
Summary: Genderbending, Germancest! Don't like, don't read! Monika  Fem!Germany  feels boring, unwanted, and has a bit of a breakdown! Luckily, her awesome sister is there to cheer her up and put her worries aside! T for safety, oneshot


**Authors Note: Yes, this is Germancest. Fem!Germany (Monika) and Fem!Prussia (Julchen). It's just easier for me to write, and I find it easier to imagine Fem!Germany crying than normal Luddy... So... Don't forget to leave a review, they make my day! And I really hope this doesn't seem out of character, but I imagine Monika/Ludwig to be quite insecure... **

**Oh, and human names are used, but this isn't meant to be AU or anything. Monika still represents Germany, Julchen represents Prussia... I'm just using human names because I can~**

**This was inspired by a dream I had last night... heh...**

**So~ Enjoy~!**

**Schwester**

* * *

><p>For the most part, it had been a normal day for Monika. She'd woken up at five in the morning, gone outside for some intense training until eight and then had breakfast. Feliciano had come over for lunch, making pasta as usual, and Monika had yelled at him for not cleaning up his mess. Then, she'd gone up to her study to do some work that needed to be done by the next morning.<p>

"Ve, Moni!" Feliciano had said, just before she'd disappeared up to her study. "You're being boring, I'm going home~! Ciao!"

This had made the German freeze in her tracks, with intentions of questioning why her best friend had thought that, but she heard the front door slam closed before she got the chance. Was it true? Was Monika really... boring?

Feeling tears threaten to spill from her eyes, Monika quickly raced into her study, slamming the door behind her. It wasn't often that she had breakdowns like these, but it was a little known fact that she was very... insecure... And sometimes something as simple as saying 'you're being boring' could make her burst into tears. Of course, this only ever happened when she was alone, there was no way she'd ever let anyone see her cry.

Forgetting to lock the door behind her, Monika slowly made her way over to her work desk. The German sat in her office chair, desperately trying to wipe away her tears as she started work. She picked up a pen with a shaky hand, trying to read what was written on the documents in front of her with blurry eyes.

She knew Feli hadn't meant to insult her, and she knew that it was stupid to let such a simple comment bring her to tears... But Monika had just generally been feeling down lately, as much as she tried not to show it. Barely anyone had come to visit, and when they did they left early, her workload had been steadily growing bigger, and the thing that brought her down the most was that her own sister had been leaving her home alone to go out drinking with her friends more frequently.

Realising it was hopeless to try and do the work in front of her, Monika put down her pen, burying her face in her hands. For the first time in quite a while, she allowed herself to cry as much as she needed to. The tears rolled down her cheeks in what felt like bucket loads, and tiny sobs passed through her lips.

The German let every bad thought that had ever crossed her mind to come flooding back, each thought stabbing at her heart like a knife. She knew she was boring, she knew that people didn't tend to like her because she needed everything to be perfect, she knew that her sister Julchen had probably abandoned her in favour of her friends because she'd probably figured this all out as well. She knew that she loved her sister more than she should, and she knew that her sister had probably realised how stupid it was that they were in a relationship and was trying to avoid breaking the younger one's heart.

Monika's small sobs slowly grew louder, and her head found its way onto her work desk. She gripped her hair tightly, managing to pull small patches from her head, and she started choking on her sobs. The pain in her chest, it was all too much for her, she just wanted it to stop, no matter what it took her.

Starting to cough as she sobbed, Monika failed to notice a girl with long silver hair open the door to peak in. In fact, she didn't notice Julchen was in the room at all until she felt an arm wrap around her waist, and a hand slowly stroking her hair.

"Sch-Schwester...?" Monika choked out, slowly looking up from the desk. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her tears flowed as freely as ever. Her usually neat blonde hair was a mess, and her clothes were wrinkly from being in the same position too long. She was an absolute mess.

Julchen frowned, crimson eyes examining her sobbing sister as she continued stroking her hair. She'd never seen Monika like this before. "What's wrong schwester, and what can the Awesome Me do to help?" she asked quietly.

Feeling pathetic and weak, Monika quickly tried to dry her eyes, only succeeding in making herself cry more out of embarrassment, on top of everything else. "I-It's nothing, d-don't w-worry," she stumbled out, trembling slightly. She really, _really_ didn't want Julchen seeing her like this.

Sighing, the older sibling spun the German's office chair around to face her. She made sure, Monika was looking up, and she looked directly into her sister's eyes as she spoke. "West, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Julchen asked, the most serious she'd been in quite a while. "The Awesome Me might not seem like it sometimes, but I actually do care if you're upset, and I actually do want to help... so... What's bothering mein little schwester?"

Monika averted her eyes, trying to wipe away her tears with her trembling hands. "I-It's n-not... I d-don't..." she tried to say, but the words didn't want to come. Instead, the German woman looked down at her lap before she spoke. "I-I'm... I'm boring, aren't I?" she said quietly.

Julchen's eyes widened in surprise at this question, and she took a moment to process what exactly had been said. "You think... you're boring?" the Prussian asked slowly, confusion sweeping across her features. Monika just nodded, making Julchen frown again. "Awesome people don't hang out with boring people! You should know that schwester!"

The German continued looking down at her lap, a fresh wave of sobs racking through her body. She wished more than anything else that she could hide the weakness showing through her right now, but that wasn't going to happen. "Y-You've b-b-been out a l-lot l-lately," Monika pointed out through her sobs. "You're a-a-always with F-Francis a-and A-Antonio. I-It's like y-you're a-avoiding m-me..."

A wave of guilt washed through the Prussian at this, but she quickly tried to hide it by pulling her sister into a tight hug. "I... I'm sorry, west," Julchen apologised, starting to tear up a little herself once she felt her sister sobbing into her shoulder. "I haven't been trying to leave you alone so much, honestly! Francis and I are just trying to help Toni get a date with Feli's brother, and we've been so busy that none of us have really been home that often..."

Sobbing into her sister's shoulder, Monika knew that this was the truth. It didn't make her feel any better though, she was still completely convinced that Julchen had stopped loving her. "B-But... I'm so boring, everybody says so, and serious, and... and... It's no wonder nobody likes me," she confessed, letting her sister hear her most secret thoughts and feelings. She didn't really want to, but being as upset as she was Monika just blurted it all out.

Julchen's eyes widened in surprise as she listened to her sister, surprised at how weak and emotional her voice was... and also surprised that Monika was confessing all this. Is that really what she thought? That she was boring and nobody liked her?

"Schwester, who the hell told you all that?" Julchen demanded, rage flaring up inside of her. She held her sister tighter, wanting to know who she'd have to strangle for telling her sister such terrible things.

"N-Nobody," Monika confessed, her tears finally drying. She was just starting to feel... numb. "I just... The way people look at me, the way they treat me... I know it's true, and so do you... I bet you don't even want to be with me anymore..."

Julchen pulled back from the hug for a moment, examining her sister's face in disbelief. Since when had Monika ever been insecure? "Monika..." she sighed, gently pressing her lips to her sisters before pulling back. "Mein Gott, do you seriously think all of that? When did this happen? Because none of its true!"

Monika decided that maybe the last part wasn't true one her sister connected their lips, but that didn't stop her from believing the rest of what she had said. "Ja, I think that," she admitted with a sigh, her cheeks feeling a little stiff from all the tears that had dried there. "I have done for a while... B-But don't worry schwester, I'm over it... I have work to do..."

Finally releasing her sister, Julchen sighed. She knew how stubborn Monika could be, and she knew that her awesome self would have a lot of work to do to convince her sister otherwise. "Fine then west," the Prussian sighed, ruffling Monika's hair. "But if you're upset like that again, the Awesome Me is never too far away! Even if you have to call me! Kesesesese, I definitely won't mind~!"

Smiling very slightly, Monika nodded, turning her chair back around so she could start on her paperwork. Before she got the chance to, however, a set of lips were pressed against her own once again.

"I mean it Monika, tell me next time okay?" Julchen asked seriously, before ruffling the younger's hair and walking out of the room. Blinking in surprise at her sister's seriousness, Monika slowly smiled again, starting on her work. "Will do schwester," she said to herself.


End file.
